


Lies and Deceit

by hiza-chan (callunavulgari)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-26
Updated: 2012-04-26
Packaged: 2017-11-04 08:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callunavulgari/pseuds/hiza-chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Jounouchi dreams of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies and Deceit

Sometimes, Jounouchi dreams of him. His slumber is haunted by a three thousand year old Pharaoh who has long since passed into the afterlife, and really, he couldn't be happier about it.

They all dream about him. Jounouchi knows that. He sees the way that Anzu looks, knows that particular shade of longing and grief that gleams within her eyes. He sees the way that Honda looks at Yugi sometimes, as if the sentence on the tip of his tongue is not meant for that particular boy, but for the dark ghost that had left them. Even Kaiba misses him. Most people would miss it, because his sorrow is written in the sharp curve of his wrist as he draws a card, in the way his voice stutters over Yugi's name when he challenges him to a duel. And sometimes, Kaiba's pain is tangible in the depth of blue eyes.

And in the end, Jounouchi is the one that Yugi goes to when the younger boy confesses to having night terrors. He has nightmares about everything they've gone through, and the worst part of it is that when he wakes up, he automatically gropes about for a foreign consciousness no longer there. And Jounouchi listens, because he is Yugi's best friend.

He is Yugi's friend, so he doesn't tell them how every night he wakes with the ghost of Atem's touch tingling against his skin, how every time he looks at Yugi he can't help but wish there was a darker shadow of the boy standing next to him. His friend had dealt with enough people wanting him to be his shadow. Instead, he breathes his secrets against the curve of Kaiba's neck, writes them in the bleeding grooves his nails have left in the other man's back. He shudders and shakes and wishes that it was someone else holding him down, someone else's cock inside of him.

When Mai approaches him with an uncharacteristic blush warming her cheeks and that familiar sarcasm keeping her words veiled in armor, Jounouchi can't do it. Even at the chance of finally moving on- moving past Atem and having a chance at normalcy, a normal life with a girlfriend, happiness, maybe one day even kids, Jounouchi can't. He looks at her, and can't pretend that she is Atem, with her sunny blond hair, her pale skin, and her pretty pale eyes. He can't imagine having a woman now that he knows what it is like to have Atem. He has to close his eyes to even have Kaiba, close his eyes and imagine that blue eyes are red and pale skin is bronze. So he turns her away with apologies and tries to pretend he doesn't see the tears glittering at the corner of her eyes.

He plays the game, keeps up with his life and smiles and laughs like he is supposed to. This is his life, and he can't pretend that it's anything but that. He has friends to keep happy, a sister to help and a father to take care of. When Yugi begins to look at him with worry, he tries not to notice. He tries to play the charade well, the friend who everyone can count on.

Kaiba leaves him in the summer. Jounouchi whimpers the wrong name when he comes and Kaiba scoffs at him, throws on his clothes and stalks out of the hotel room.

Jounouchi sits on the bed and laughs, laughs until tears streak his cheeks and the last traces of come has seeped out of him. He remembers Atem's touch, remembers that last kiss, that last fuck before the Pharaoh had moved on to the afterlife. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel Atem beside him, feel the slide of a smaller body against his own. He can hear the broken little moans Atem had made when Jounouchi had fucked him, remembers the way the ghost's spine had arched off the bed whenever he thrust particularly deep. Remembers wondering if it was possible for Yugi to wake up during this or if Atem had made sure the doors to their soul room would remain locked.

Jounouchi lives for those dreams, lives for the memory of a touch and hopes that that is enough. He tells himself that he'll see Atem again someday, that wherever Atem is in the afterlife he'll find him.

He tries not to hear the lie in his own words.


End file.
